Friday, January 27, 2012
Hello, can I hear me?
I really do know all of these things, so I guess I'm still learning about myself and how to create in this different kind of space. I also keep forgetting that if I really wanted to, I could occasionally still make art at home. I've removed most all of my art supplies and such from the house so there would specifically be a separation of "work" and "home" spaces but.... I think my brain tries so very hard to sort, categorize and organize my existence - sometimes it's exhausting.
The piece above is a work in progress and is tentatively titled, "Pushing Out." It's a painting on top of another that didn't work out. I was trying to create something and my brush slipped and so I ran with it and tried to turn it into something else and it completely didn't work at all. I got emotional and cried. Sobbing quietly behind my closed door - wondering if this whole thing is a fluke - if I really belong to this community at all... I allowed myself to feel for a while - because it's good to feel, and then a week or two later I simply painted over it. In many ways my new life feels like slipping into a long lost glove - that somewhere along the way I forgot how much I enjoyed creating art and it just got pushed behind all of the other things in my life. Now it's front and center and it feels amazing and challenging and frustrating and exhilarating.
I will continue to push outward from myself and grow even further...