Monday, January 30, 2012
I used to paint in my kitchen and when I was finished, I had to put everything away because there just wasn't any space to leave it out. If I wanted to, I can now leave all my paints and such wherever I want them because it's MY art space - though I find that at the end of the day I feel quite uncomfortable if I don't put things "away." I can't lock the door behind me if there isn't some kind of order - which is hysterical. I'm not a neat person. I'm quite messy. I now have a place where I can be as messy as I like yet I'm constantly putting everything in it's place. One of my new artist friends asked me, "Do you always work so neat?" and truthfully, no. I don't. So I don't know what that's all about, except maybe a fear of leaving myself vulnerable. For the most part, the artists at the Banana Factory all work with our doors open so we can interact with anyone who visits and maybe I'm fearful of people seeing me make a mess. I'm guessing that this whole new world is simply showing me new parts of myself that I didn't know existed. Once I meet them, I can choose to keep them around, or let them go if they do not serve my highest good.