Sunday, February 22, 2009
The following is a golden nugget by Jim Donovan, from his blog Rhythm :: Ecstasy :: Evolution.
"The drive to grow is what keeps you progressing. If you desire progress, this drive will never stop for you, and you'll always want to share what you discover with those you love. While you can definitely have an effect on someone, you will rarely be able to put your hands on someone and twist them into what you want them to be.
A significant challenge in a relationship is to see someone you love that you know could benefit and grow from what you personally know, but the person is either uninterested or unwilling to "go there". Dealing with this kind of frustration, while unnerving, can also be viewed as a gift. It gives you one more part of yourself to come to terms with. This part has to do with just allowing life to unfold as it does.
Whenever you can reduce the emotional charge of frustration at someone else's lack of growth, you will have grown as a result. This is a way to change the frame of how you view your closest relationships. You have the choice to view them in terms of how much they aggravate you, or you can view them in terms of how much they can help you to understand yourself." - Jim Donovan
This is excellent advice, especially for a control freak like me. It makes a lot more sense than the old cliche, "taking people for what they are worth." To me, changing the frame *is* the way to better relationships, and the ultimate way to lead to your own progression.